Nostalgia,

 Don't you ever get that feeling of looking back like 5 or 4 years from now? And how different eveyrthing was. Maybe it's just me, but everything was completely different, I swear. The people I called best friends, the people I disliked, the people I liked, everything. And at the moment I would of never thought things would of changed, I guess I knew the friendships I had would not last cause they were all hanging on a rope. As ashamed as I am to admit, back then, I never really felt solid with who I called bestfriends. I still talk to them, and see them occasionally and like them as people, but there was always something that was missing. This big hole, and I didn't really know what it was. As I moved on to a far away highschool, we drifted away and became people that barely knew each other, and to then meet my current, real and longest bestfriends, Rita, Renee, Marie and Yesenia, I just knew they were my bestfriends period. No holes, no lies, no hate, just true friendship, just love. And if anyone else is reading this besides the four, Rita, Renee, Marie, and Yesenia note that they aren't my only best friends but the ones I feel closest to, in order, since I've known them the longest and can literally talk to them about anything. But yeah I don't really know what exactly drove to write this post, I wish I could spend the next 5 hours explaining, 5 years in this post but I really do not want to do that. Nostalgia is hitting me pretty hard right now, maybe that's the reason why? Lol. I keep thinking about when I use to go to church, and how different I was. Not only in age, but I felt as though I was so locked up. And I don't blame the church, religion or God, don't get me wrong here. But I was so weak, and so, I don't even know the word. I think those were probably the hardest years of my life so far. I always felt like the underdog, and the one who never spoke. I felt like that kid in the back of the room, no one notices cause her mouth won't open, even though she's screaming inside. And to be honest I don't know how I got over it, and how I changed to the person I am today, even though I get a little shy sometimes, I'll never forget when I couldn't say a word, and how miserable I felt. I guess it'd be kind of tacky to say Lady Gaga helped me lol. Yes I'm a fan, been one for about 2 years now. First song I heard of her was "Just dance", and I really disliked it, honest to God. I kept thinking who is this "Gaga" and why do I keept hearing this stupid song over and over again. Then she came out with pokerface, which I like a lot. And then lovegame, paparazzi, etc. but when Bad Romance came out that's when I went crazy. I don't think I was every very crazy about her music, to be honest, I don't generally like pop music, but when I heard the song, the lyrics kind of spoke to me. And then The Fame Monster came out and I think, honestly, that album changed my life in a way. She sang about so many things on that album, like love, lust, sex, loving who you are, and the struggles of love. And some people don't get Lady Gaga, but a few years ago people didn't get me either. And I like Lady Gaga, cause her music lyrics and message helped me to be who I am today. Other than the fact that I respect that everyone has their own opinion, I don't care what anyone says anymore really, and I bet neither does she. She's sold over 9 million albums, and she's fearless. I'd love to see her preform one day lol. Btw I like how I talk aboutmy best friends to church then my obsession with Lady Gaga. Great lol.